Apparently this is Bac-Log episode 200! [scattered awkward clapping].
Okay, fine. Have this instead:
CHAPTER THE ONETH:
Who wants to go see an exhilarating Seattle Mariners baseball squadron baseball game tomorrow (Tuesday) night? I have THREE FREE* TICKETS that do not include my own ONE FREE TICKET! Who wants to spend a beautiful spring evening making up inappropriate nicknames for the esteemed members of the opposing ballclub, the mildly detested but begrudgingly respected Tampa Bay Rays baseball squadron? And eating nachos? You know you want to. Bring it.
*While free in monetary terms, you will have to pretend to listen to me as I make up inappropriate nicknames for the opposing ballclub, the people around us in the stands, my friends, and probably myself.
Email me if you want to go. The seats are awesome, and even come with free parking passes.
UPDATE: Looks like I'm the middle of a Kyle sandwich with a side of Vik! Wait, eww.
CHAPTER TOOTH:
Because she lives 3000 miles away, coming up with a suitable selection of appropriate prizes for Sara's dominating slogan contest victory has been difficult, because I can't just make the prize poll consist of nothing but noogies of various durations. So I have had to settle for the following:
- Election as Bac-Log's Minister of Defense, Slogans, and Time Management. (Sara has proven that she can handle at least part of that job.)
- The subject of an epic poem and/or limerick!
- A custom T-shirt that reads "I won a custom t-shirt contest but all I got was this lousy custom t-shirt back".
- A
one-week5-day2-day moratorium on making fun of her behind her back. - A seven year old box of stuffing autographed by Heenkenstein, BRG, and I.
- A dramatic LEGO reenactment of what life was like when Sara and I were roommates in college.
- A poorly-photoshopped sparkly poster of Sara riding a unicorn or a dolphin or a unicorn dolphin or driving a barbie car with Robo-cop.
- A Dicks cheeseburger [this also counts as this post's inside joke].
Pretty awesome stuff, right? Now remember, Sara's prize will be determined by YOUR VOTE! VOTE ON THEM NOW AND TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO VOTE. It is the only way we can ever hope to make this world a fair place.
CHAPTER LETTUCE:
Tougs and I had some Fun Dip on Saturday. That stuff is awesome! If only there was a way to use this blog to assign homework, the first assignment would be to enjoy some Fun Dip and vote on the prize poll and come over and ride Tinybike with me over some sweet jumps.
TODAY'S HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:
- Enjoy some Fun Dip
- Vote on the prize poll
- Come over and ride Tinybike with me over some sweet jumps
If everyone doesn't vote for Lego reenactment, they deserve to die a fiery death.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I want to go to the baseball game. Does your company also have any plane tickets they're not using tomorrow that you could get for free?
I want to SEE the Lego re-enactment, but I think a 20x30 poster of Sara with lots of Lisa Frank-esque colors and glitter of various shades would be indescribable by mortal words (especially because I live in New York, so would be able to see it).
ReplyDeleteAlso, as a side note, and this will surely start a flame war of varying degrees, a Seattle/Tampa Bay game is hysterical. That whole game sounds like a raucous good time.
Congrats on 200. That's quite an achievement, equivalent to the invention of the cotton gin and landing on the moon. It also blows movable type out of the water. Suck it Gutenberg!
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