My May 27th Resolution is to write in my blog

Hey guys! Long time no talk at. Long time no use propositions to end sentences with. Did you miss me?

Blogging:


Recently I've been reading this blog called We Will All Go Simultaneous, so if all of a sudden I start making even less sense you can blame it on a dude named Crispin Best. But seriously, you should check out his super awesomely great Ninja Turtle flash fiction. If you don't cry a little from laughing at Raphael's bit, I might not be able to renew our friendship contract. Times are tight, people.

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I found this mysterious slip of paper in my desk at work last week:


What could this list possibly be about? Why did I keep it? Did I misspell "Mercer", or is that intentional? It sounds like Past Grant is in trouble and that Present Grant will have to embark on a National Treasure fan fiction adventure before my hand dissolves. Who's with me?

Seriously, though. What?

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I found this on a bathroom wall:



At first I thought this guy was encouraging the use of quotes over phallic imagery for effective bathroom expression, but now I think he might be being sarcastic. It's amazing how good literature can really make you think.

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Check out how my coworker is going to handle a zombie attack:


Man, that's so good. I can't wait until I'm a zombie.

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Check out this awesome baconolli my sister and Way-Lon and Chris and Booster Seat and I made a few weeks back:

The baconolli is draped around a foil-clad Vitamin R can:

The baconolli is cooked with some baco bodyguards:

After being gingerly removed from its aluminum scaffolding, the baconolli is used as a wonderous kaleidoscope that displays an ever-shifting menagerie of sparkling grease beads and carbonized bits of pig:

The baconolli receives a new heart of egg and cheese and stuff:

And then it gets eaten.

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I'm so glad it's flip-flop weather FINALLY.