Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Step 4


It might seem like I don't have a plan for this blog, but that is just an optical illusion, because I just made one up:

Step 1: Start blog.
Step 2: Get bored of blog's nominal theme.
Step 3: Lose focus and just start rambling and randomly arranging words together for about a year.
Step 4: ?
Step 5: Jewels!
Step 6: ?
Step 7: Grow a really long beard.
Step 8: Ride on the back of a whale.

EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN. Step 4 is just taking longer than expected.

As soon as I think of a new theme or shtick and sufficiently lower everyone's expectations, Bac-Log will be "bac" [ha ha! Get it? Jokes.] and better than ever. Maybe I will call it "Bac-Log: Millenium" or "Bac-Log: Titanium" or "Bac-Log: Resurrection", and maybe the dancing bacon guys will have sunglasses. And on that day all calendars will change to a new year 0 and there will be no more war or spiders.

Here is a good idea: Whenever you guys who like to complain that I don't write in my blog (you know who you are) want to complain that I don't write in my blog, you should structure your complaint like this:
Dear Mr. Grant,

Thank you for the great nickname you came up with for me. [insert awesome name for a softball team] would be a good softball team name. Also, [insert thing you would like to know more about from an expert in the subject] would be a good new theme for your blog. Also, I am in love with you and always have been here have a beer and some pepperoni. I wish you would write in your blog more. Here are some pictures for you to caption [attach embarrasing pictures of yourself].

Respectfully, [your name here]

Adhering to these guidelines will go a long way towards building a sustainable and influencial organization here at Bac-Log Enterprises.