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I like to think this montage pretty much sums up what life is like. You know, sometimes life nails you on your little walker car thing. Sometimes you try something new and end up getting nailed with a 2-liter bottle. And sometimes you are a bunny and you get ice cream. Yes!

SO HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?

justice is hilarious and wet

Behold another installment of the timeless tale of Pet vs Kid, in which the hapless child seeks unjust revenge upon a superior feline foe and passersby are treated to an epic battle for the ages:



Here is the inner dialog associated with this shining moment of history:

KID: [constant buzzing sound]
CAT:
KID: [constant buzzing sound]
CAT:
KID: [constant buzzing sound]
CAT: nope
KID: [constant muted gurgling sound]

neighbor kid has it right

The kid who lives across the hall from me proudly posted this manifesto of summerness on his door. I'm not sure I fully understand the glyphs that adorn the bottom of the page (I think he might be trying to say, "beachball pineapple hamburger bird egg cilantro"), but the message is clear: It's fucking summertime. Also: Fuck school.

Mobile blogging

Kid at bus stop: "mom, does it taste like penguin? Mom? Tell me if it
tastes like penguin, ok?"

-if not back in 72 hours, avenge
death

Kids < Pets < Other humans

For those of you who like the original Pet Vs Kid smack-down (read: ALL OF YOU):

Check out this dazzling sequel:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA! Does anyone want me to save them a seat in hell?

NEW FEATURE: kids

OK, I have to get this story off my chest before I forget about it. I just got home from the grocery store where I witnessed an 8 or 9 year old boy approach the meat aisle and begin rapid-fire pummeling a poor defenseless ham. Like, I couldn't even see his arms they were moving so fast. I tried to remain calm and carry on, but then his mom started yelling at him, "HEY BILLY*! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HIT THE MEAT!" Billy* slowed down for a couple of seconds and contemplated this advice before re-engaging the enemy meat, this time accompanied by an awesome machine-gun sound. Seriously, I think this kid has a promising career in sound-effects. And boxing. Against hams.

*the names in this story have been changed to protect young meat-punchers, and also because his mom's voice was pretty shrill and I couldn't really distinguish all of the syllables.