Another milestone DESTROYED

Hey dudes and chicks:

Apparently this is Bac-Log episode 200! [scattered awkward clapping].

Okay, fine. Have this instead:

CHAPTER THE ONETH:

Who wants to go see an exhilarating Seattle Mariners baseball squadron baseball game tomorrow (Tuesday) night? I have THREE FREE* TICKETS that do not include my own ONE FREE TICKET! Who wants to spend a beautiful spring evening making up inappropriate nicknames for the esteemed members of the opposing ballclub, the mildly detested but begrudgingly respected Tampa Bay Rays baseball squadron? And eating nachos? You know you want to. Bring it.

*While free in monetary terms, you will have to pretend to listen to me as I make up inappropriate nicknames for the opposing ballclub, the people around us in the stands, my friends, and probably myself.

Email me if you want to go. The seats are awesome, and even come with free parking passes.

UPDATE: Looks like I'm the middle of a Kyle sandwich with a side of Vik! Wait, eww.

CHAPTER TOOTH:

Because she lives 3000 miles away, coming up with a suitable selection of appropriate prizes for Sara's dominating slogan contest victory has been difficult, because I can't just make the prize poll consist of nothing but noogies of various durations. So I have had to settle for the following:

• Election as Bac-Log's Minister of Defense, Slogans, and Time Management. (Sara has proven that she can handle at least part of that job.)
• The subject of an epic poem and/or limerick!
• A custom T-shirt that reads "I won a custom t-shirt contest but all I got was this lousy custom t-shirt back".
• A one-week 5-day 2-day moratorium on making fun of her behind her back.
• A seven year old box of stuffing autographed by Heenkenstein, BRG, and I.
• A dramatic LEGO reenactment of what life was like when Sara and I were roommates in college.
• A poorly-photoshopped sparkly poster of Sara riding a unicorn or a dolphin or a unicorn dolphin or driving a barbie car with Robo-cop.
• A Dicks cheeseburger [this also counts as this post's inside joke].

Pretty awesome stuff, right? Now remember, Sara's prize will be determined by YOUR VOTE! VOTE ON THEM NOW AND TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO VOTE. It is the only way we can ever hope to make this world a fair place.

CHAPTER LETTUCE:

Tougs and I had some Fun Dip on Saturday. That stuff is awesome! If only there was a way to use this blog to assign homework, the first assignment would be to enjoy some Fun Dip and vote on the prize poll and come over and ride Tinybike with me over some sweet jumps.

TODAY'S HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:

• Enjoy some Fun Dip
• Vote on the prize poll
• Come over and ride Tinybike with me over some sweet jumps

You do care about your grades, right? Better get on this.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

Hey, does anyone have a bear-shaped honey container that is empty, or almost empty, or contains unsuitable honey for your honey needs? If so, can I have it? It's for a homework assignment in my bear-shaped honey container class in container school.



Please? If I fail this class I'll have to go back to my unpaid salt mining internship. I'll trade you some size-4 coffee filters, or a potato.

NEW FEATURE: misuse of blog

People:

Anyone want to go see tonight's Mariners game against the hated division rivals, the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim California, a game that has absolutely zero impact or importance? I have an extra ticket because Patron Saint has to work late or something.

Pros:

• getting to hang out with Me, BRG, and Rachel
• awesome seats right behind the visitor's dugout, so we can yell stuff at the opposing players
• you will get to learn all about our fantasy baseball league (exciting!!) because BRG and I are duking it out for the top spot, and also the starting pitcher for the Angels is on my team.
• Because of this you will probably learn all sorts of new words and phrases that you can feel free to use at home and work.
  
• free!

Cons:

• how about you read the Pros again. THERE ARE NO CONS HERE

Let me know! Game starts at 7. We will be pre-drinking at Hooverville. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS!! [hint: this is true]

UPDATE: File this under "Pros": I will also regale you with the scintillating tale of the real-life hobo that I met on Saturday while he was looking for the trainyard! [disclaimer: Vik, Kyle S, and Lisa were not nearly as impressed by this tale as I thought they should be, but maybe it's because they were just jealous]