Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Step 4

Guys!

It might seem like I don't have a plan for this blog, but that is just an optical illusion, because I just made one up:

Step 1: Start blog.
Step 2: Get bored of blog's nominal theme.
Step 3: Lose focus and just start rambling and randomly arranging words together for about a year.
Step 4: ?
Step 5: Jewels!
Step 6: ?
Step 7: Grow a really long beard.
Step 8: Ride on the back of a whale.

EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN. Step 4 is just taking longer than expected.

As soon as I think of a new theme or shtick and sufficiently lower everyone's expectations, Bac-Log will be "bac" [ha ha! Get it? Jokes.] and better than ever. Maybe I will call it "Bac-Log: Millenium" or "Bac-Log: Titanium" or "Bac-Log: Resurrection", and maybe the dancing bacon guys will have sunglasses. And on that day all calendars will change to a new year 0 and there will be no more war or spiders.

Here is a good idea: Whenever you guys who like to complain that I don't write in my blog (you know who you are) want to complain that I don't write in my blog, you should structure your complaint like this:
Dear Mr. Grant,

Thank you for the great nickname you came up with for me. [insert awesome name for a softball team] would be a good softball team name. Also, [insert thing you would like to know more about from an expert in the subject] would be a good new theme for your blog. Also, I am in love with you and always have been here have a beer and some pepperoni. I wish you would write in your blog more. Here are some pictures for you to caption [attach embarrasing pictures of yourself].

Respectfully, [your name here]

Adhering to these guidelines will go a long way towards building a sustainable and influencial organization here at Bac-Log Enterprises.

9 comments:

Laurel said...

Dear Mr. Grant,

You're not going to come up with a better team name than Commander Riker's Beard. Will would like you to caption this picture of him eating a cookie.

Sincerely, but not respectfully,
Laurel

Ian said...

Geez. Little cranky for having had a whole month off from blogging, dontcha think?

Respectfully, but not sincerely,
Ian

Rachel said...

Dear Mr. Grant,

When you don't write in your blog then I have no choice but to do actual work and that makes me sad.

Sincerely but not respectfully,

Rachel

Andy said...

Dear baclog-

I miss you. Come back to me. You know I love you. Sure, I've messed around with some other blogs but it just wasn't the same. When I'm reading them at work, really I'm just thinking of baclog the whole time. Once you've had bac, you never go back. Please come back.

Love tegeder.blogspot.com

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I suspect he got an "early start" and there are numerous rapes of children 14 and under in this case.
He was not an "innocent" young teenager.