NEW FEATURE: kids

OK, I have to get this story off my chest before I forget about it. I just got home from the grocery store where I witnessed an 8 or 9 year old boy approach the meat aisle and begin rapid-fire pummeling a poor defenseless ham. Like, I couldn't even see his arms they were moving so fast. I tried to remain calm and carry on, but then his mom started yelling at him, "HEY BILLY*! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HIT THE MEAT!" Billy* slowed down for a couple of seconds and contemplated this advice before re-engaging the enemy meat, this time accompanied by an awesome machine-gun sound. Seriously, I think this kid has a promising career in sound-effects. And boxing. Against hams.

*the names in this story have been changed to protect young meat-punchers, and also because his mom's voice was pretty shrill and I couldn't really distinguish all of the syllables.