Friday, July 11, 2008

Interim patron saint of Bac-Log

For some reason my friend Vik decided the other day that he really wanted to be Bac-Log's patron saint (not that this is unusual-- most children include being Bac-Log's patron saint amongst such other desirable career paths as firemen, princesses, molemen, and superhero astronaut cowboys. I just think it took Vik a little soul-searching to finally make peace with his inner child). The sudden realization that the only thing keeping Vik from achieving complete contentment with himself and the world was holding this highest of offices spurred a complete reversal of attitude about the great X-TREME HAIKU CHARITY CHALLENGE 2008™. His former hard-shelled, two-pronged position of "I don't want to write a haiku" and "No, I don't want to write a haiku, stop bothering me" melted away to reveal a soft center of sweet, sweet poetic desire.

Vikram: If you were not a
   raging bitch—I probably
   would have banged you hard.
me: thanks dude!
Vikram: for the haiku contest
me: oh, right, haiku

As Vik opened up with a poetic deluge, undaunted by such minor setbacks as "suitability for a charity website guestbook" and "taste", I realized that his tenacity and blind desire truly represent the spirit of Bac-Log, and should be rewarded and celebrated. The sancity of the contest must be upheld, and no one yet knows who the Ultimate Winner of Bestest Haiku will be, but I felt that there must be a way to honor sweet Vikram for his selfless outpouring of saintliness regardless of outcome. I asked Vik for a head shot, and as if he already had the email queued up, he provided me with a portrait described as "masculine, yet gentle-- sexy, but not trampy."

Ignore my D-minus photoediting skillz (if only this had required a gradient, I would have been all over it), and BEHOLD: Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to introduce Vikram, the [INTERIM] Patron Saint of Bac-Log!!

Let this be a taste of the glory that can be yours if you either write a haiku to support cancer research or bother me enough.


Tricia said...

Awww how wonderful

Courtney said...

That is the most perfect blog entry that I have ever read. I almost died laughing while first reading your gmail convo (which, by the way, I am now nervous of chatting with you on gmail for fear of ending up as blog banter) to Viks description of the picture, and then, of course, to the picture itself. Good work!