Thursday, April 10, 2008

NEW FEATURE: Desperate plea for help


As many of you know, next month Vik, Kyle H, Jason and I will be participating in the most amazing event of all time; the BABE Rally. The short story for those who we haven't gushed on and on about this to yet is that the BABE Rally (Big Apple to Big Easy) is a beater car trip from New York to New Orleans in a car that costs less than $250. Since we live in Seattle, this will also require driving our sweet $1 1987 Honda Civic to New York first. All in all we expect nothing less of this experience than a spectacular adventure full of non-stop mirth, merriment, and self-fulfillment.

So far everything is going rather well except for one important detail (two, if you count the car not running yet); we don't have a team name. You would think that among the four of us we would be able to come up with something clever that we all agree on, but we've been "trying" for months with no success. I think the primary problem is that we are sort of obsessed with our name being the perfect mixture of wit and understated cleverness that we have created a standard to which we will never ourselves be able to meet. Whereas I'm sure that we have many skills between the four of us (like eating and making snarky comments), naming things is apparently not one of them.

You are probably thinking, "what a tragic situation! Is there anything I can do to help?" Yes there is, and thank you for your concern. Here's what you can do:
  • Think of awesome teams names (you can look at other team names for inspiration)
  • Post your awesome team names in the comments
  • Pass along this desperate plea to others
Some [read: ALL] of you are probably thinking, "what's in it for me? As a team-naming mercenary, I demand payment for my services." Check out this awesome suite of amazing prizes that could be yours upon our selection of your team name:
  • Warm fuzzy feeling which you should probably get checked out
  • A homemade tee-shirt featuring original art inspired by your team name
  • Jason will wash your car or bicycle*
  • Our friendship [note: friendship awarded retroactively only]
  • You will achieve fame as our team's "Patron Saint", unless there is a more obviously applicable patron saint in which case you will receive a consolation prize of a bag of fake gold. [note: pending availability, "fake gold" may be substituted by "Oreos" and "bag" may be substituted by "partial bag"]
Perhaps you are shy or worried that your team-name ideas are not good enough. To assuage these fears, you can be assured that your suggestions will be better than my only to-date contribution of "Dream Unicorn Sparkle Sparkle Squad". If you are worried that we will make fun of your ideas, you may rest assured that yes, we will make fun of your ideas, but it will probably not be to your face and may only involve snickering.

Let's get us a team name!

*Not confirmed


Grant said...

Welcome to the comments thread! In case you are wondering, currently our team is registered under "I Must Be Naked", which is pretty funny but requires the correct emphasis.

Grant said...

Oh, and here are some of our other brainstormed ideas. If you like any of these, let us know!

Seattle Wet Sox
Watersmeet Alumni Nimrods
Ballard Third Base Bandits
Dominant Bucks
*Friends with Benefits
Flat Footed Floozies
Sons of Pitches
*Donkey to Mouth [ed note: ha ha ha haha ha, this still makes me laugh]
Landing Strip Lads
*Dynamo Chicken Kiev
Terribly Talented Terriers
Vik's Velocities
*The Fast and the Furious 3: Seattle Drift
Rhythm Method
High-Flyin' White Guys
Brazilian Beaver Hunters
Nessie's Nephews
We Don't Have Herpes (yet)
WNBA Groupies
Beefallo Butchers
*Kids For Kucinich's Hot Wife
Cindy McCain Has A Bitchy Face
I Left My Heart In Kent, WA
Kevin Sampson's Phone Pals
My Tramp Stamp is Special
Pass the Peebers!
Team $1
Carbon Monoxide is my co-pilot
Not moving to OKC
My pink Land Rover
Land Yacht Rockers
Old Indiana Jones
Corporate Sponser
Your Logo Here
Doctor Nutsworth, Mad Scientist

Grant said...

submitted via email: "Recess for the Stowaway Unicorn"

Tricia said...

I vote for
Fast and the Furious: Seattle Drift because it shows you guys are that much more hard core/rediculous cause you're from Seattle,
My Tramp Stamp is Special, but this would mean either you'd all have to get matching 'tats' or find one in each state and make a photodocumentary about it, which could add on an ultra exciting mission to the already sweet trek

original idea pending...maybe

Kyle said...

Wait, what is the proper emphasis?

Grant said...

well, it should be an observation rather than a demand, but it's hard to get that across. "Hmmm, I must be naked..."

Grant said...

Kyle H's suggestion from last night:

Courtney said...

Isnt there a way to combine your love of bacon and Seattle into the title? it would be like that bacon/french fry stick thing, but with your team name. Yeah... do that.

Grant said...

Yeah, I also received a suggestion of "BACONATORS". My infatuation with bacon is evidently known. Could it be the loosely bacon-themed blog?

Okay, time to start thinking of geographically relevant bacon team names!

Tricia said...

Hmmmm on the bacon mindset...
Sleepless in Baconatorville/ Baconeaterville?
Bacon's Anatomy?
Grey's Baconotomy?

Paul S said...

"The Willie Ballgame All-Stars". Willie gets by on grit and hustle, because he's not particularly good at, you know, baseball. You'll need something similar, because your car is not particularly good at moving.

I guess a lot of other people might not get that one though.

Paul S said...

Also, I'm not super-skilled but I can turn a wrench a little. If you guys need some help getting the car in to shape, let me know.