Friday, October 31, 2008

Prepare for the awesoming

Okay gang,

This is now my 6th attempt at deploying Bac-log Novel Idea Contest CHALLENGE 2008™. The other 5 attempts ended up not making any sense. THIS BODES WELL FOR MY NOVEL.

Here's the deal: NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow. I am going to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. This is going to be hard, but you've all seen my top-notch pointless rambling skillz. I think I can do this.

The primary reason that I am invoking the Bac-log Novel Idea Contest CHALLENGE 2008™ is because I am a junkie for reader participation and encouragement. However, I think the reason that I have had trouble getting it set up is that I'm not actually sure how Bac-log Novel Idea Contest CHALLENGE 2008™ should work. If I bribe you all for ideas with fabulous prizes, would you actually want to wade through 175 pages of crap to see me butcher your innocent and well-meaning gem of inspiration? Probably not. And what's the point of carefully crafting an amazing story idea when you don't get to see it implemented, and all you get from your effort is endless glory or ice cream or jumping high-fives?

So I think it's going to work like this: Throughout the entire month, If you have an idea that you think I would like, please leave it in the comments of this post and I will reward you with a homemade postcard featuring either a recipe or a haiku or a recipe in haiku form. (You may also email or tell me in person, but you will not get the postcard. SPECIAL OFFER: the postcard may also be used as a coupon for one free game of Monopoly with me and Kyle. You will be the banker. Kyle and I will be drunk. Starcraft may be substituted for Monopoly. If Kyle is not available, Vik may be substituted for Kyle. We could also play Yahtzee. You will provide the Yahtzee. Scrabble will not be tolerated).

Anyway, IF I decide to use your little pearl of idea-ness in some way in my story, I will also reward you with a Bac-Log Brand™ Original Recipe fabulous prize. Prize will be determined by a poll of Bac-Log readers. (With the exception of constantly subjecting you all to my inflexible and uncontested point of view, Bac-Log is all about democracy). IN ADDITION to the aforementioned fabulous prize, I will also post an excerpt or description of how your idea was used so that you may cuddle with the resulting glory.

What qualifies as an idea, you might ask? Well, check out this sparkling gem that Kevin Bacon just selflessly offered to the cause:
I once told someone to write me a story based around a guy who works in a photo place and develops photos all day long. You can have that one if you want.
Hahaha, I seriously have no idea why I find this so funny. THESE ARE HOW LOW MY STANDARDS ARE. Here are some more ideas that I am going to make up on the spot to make you feel better about your own:
  • Time traveling coffee cup finds love
  • Time traveling toaster finds love
  • Title: Dr Awesome's False Advertising Lawsuit
  • Time traveling Barry Manilow finds Mani-love
  • Somebody trips a lot
  • Everyone is a robot except for one guy!!!!
  • Can your story have unicorns or ferrets pls? thanx
  • Every character is a mystery-solving butler
  • Sexy international super-spies have a wacky house party and someone dies and they have to pretend they are still alive to win a large inheritance and also there is a talking dog.
  • Jane Austin fan fiction
  • Jane Austin fan fiction but everyone is a robot except for one guy!!!
  • Sexy lazy blogger reveals himself as a superhero and fights crime and solves mysteries and throws crazy house parties.
  • Time traveling food processor finds love.
  • A list of the last 50,000 things I ate.
  • Maintenance program engineer for major aerospace and defense corporation that rhymes exactly with "Boeing" uses his knowledge of airplane maintenance programs and fancy tea to solve mysteries.
  • It is the 80s and the story takes place entirely on yachts.
You guys can do better than that! (And you will, or I will keep bugging you). GET TO IT.

Please?

5 comments:

Kyle said...

1.) Giant whale threatens ship captain. With a knife, or perhaps with a knife made from a narwhal. Or a gun made from a narwhal.
2.) All the skyscrapers in New York are actually Transformers, biding their time for world domination.
3.) Did you know barnacles are arthropods?
4.) So were trilobites, but they're all dead now.
5.) The world ends, and everyone in the world is dead, but one guy, and he finds a library. And then his glasses break. This is pithy for some reason.
6.) Less pants.

Andy said...

How about Ghostbusters told from the perspective of the stay-puff marshmellow man?

Or a story about 2 kids who are scared of mirrors?

Laura Kate said...

1)Innocent frolicking unicorn is attacked by ferret army.
2)Person wakes up and realizes his life has been a dream. Falls asleep again.
3)After failing to diet, deranged grandpa invents neurotic candy that makes population of America his chubby mind slaves.
4)During a Kindergarten class the students reveal themselves to be rodents from another planet.
5)Girl Scouts is actually an advanced criminal hierarchy. The money we earn from cookie sales goes towards our nuclear weapons fund.
6)One time in cooking class we were making truffles, but after making half of them I burned the chocolate. The teacher started walking by right then, and if she saw what I did she would take off points. So I emptied the contents of the pot into my mouth and covered my face with one hand. The teacher didn't notice a thing (true story).
7)Teacher enters his own name into grade book and gives himself perfect grades in every class so he can graduate from high school again and get into a better college than last time.
8)Cats can only understand other cats and occasionally a bit of Swedish, whereas pegasus ponies are fluent in all languages. Unicorns are limited to English.
9)Bacon is discovered to be the cure for all existing diseases.
10)Scientists discover that a cat's butt is actually it's face. That explains a lot.
11)After a customer finds cat hair in his sandwich, his friend finds the actual animal in his soup.

Laura Kate said...

While looking up the word "pithy," this is what I discovered:

Pithy gall (Zo["o]l.), a large, rough, furrowed, oblong gall, formed on blackberry canes by a small gallfly (Diastrophus nebulosus).

Pardon?

Courtney said...

I know I am a little late on the ideas but with the time change and all, it is really last Tuesday or something (dont worry about it). Also, I thought I would come in at half-time to give you a little pep talk, because you started the first half really good, but by the 2nd quarter your defense broke down and you gave up 2 touchdowns. You are better than this!!! Dammit! Dont let those posers win! You have been training your whole for this and you are going to let the whole thing go to peices because you ate too much food this morning? What kind of excuse is that?!! Suck it up bac-log! Now go out there and kick some novel writing butt!!! Also, be sure to write something about an electronic work key that not only opens up your office door, but also Ted Nuggent's house due to a lazy computer programer who didnt feel like hitting return so there are only 1000 combinations of the key. You can figure out who the programmer is in this situation.