Friday, March 21, 2008


Despite Kyle's predictable attempt to perpetuate the meta-polling, the vast, 5-person majority has clearly spoken in favor of the mortal contest betwixt a life-size Teddy Ruxpin and Michael Douglas but with electric eels for arms, a compelling issue in today's modern world.

You may be thinking, "this doesn't seem like an issue that could be resolved via a poll on the sidebar of a blog; this seems like an issue that should be investigated in a rigorous scientific setting." I would ordinarily agree with you, but you have to look at it this way - we could set up a rigorous scientific battledome with lab-coated scientists scuttling about with clipboards behind 3-inch-thick, blast-proof glass, and we could record the actual results from the legendary encounter, and we could go out for beer afterwards to discuss the impact of the experiment on our day-to-day lives, but we would have had only a single statistical instance by which to ultimately contextualize this issue. What if one of the eels was asleep? What if "Grubby" (?) wasn't attached (?) properly? Was the carnage really worth it if there are lingering doubts about the validity of the test? [hint: Maybe]

Also, there is the issue of the sheer cost of performing such an experiment. A normal-sized Teddy Ruxpin is around $7.00+shipping on Ebay, and Michael Douglas would probably cost at least twice that, not including the electric eels or the surgery.

So it seems to me that the best way to truly answer this question is to have my massive readership [that's what she said! Ha ha ha! Ha ha... ha... ... anybody? ... *sigh*] conduct whatever calculations and simulations they feel are necessary to come to a conclusion and vote on the poll. By collecting and collating this work, this blog will be serving as a depository of scientific knowledge and rigor.

Bac-Log: A Depository of Scientific Knowledge and Rigor.

What kind of sample size will we achieve using this "mechanical turk"-like system? Well, the first poll garnered an unprecedented 7 votes in 45 days (0.16 votes/day), the meta-poll garnered 6 votes in only 7 days (0.86 votes/day), so if this poll's participation grows at the same 551% rate, in 10 days we should end up with between 47 and 48 total votes! Now that is sample size! I am so confident in my math on this one that if I do not receive at least 47 votes, this creepy bookmark that my coworker gave me will feel the cruel bite of cold steel from my comically large scissors.

I look forward to our results, team. I GAVE YOU YOUR POLL, FAIR READERS, NOW GIVE ME YOUR WISDOM!

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