Tuesday, September 16, 2008

some non-1 number of things

Okay, one more thing (besides that lie. ZING! Crap, that "zing" does not count toward my Thing Count either, okay).

New slogan for Bac-Log: "5% punchline, 85% boring setup, 12% not good with percentages."

Oh man, this reminds me that I meant to do a product review of Rockstar Juiced Guava Energy Drink that I had at a picnic a few weeks ago:

PRODUCT: Rockstar Juiced Guava Energy Drink
REVIEW: Tastes like 3 packages of grape Kool-aid powder mixed with 16oz of Sprite and 4 pounds of sugar. Evidently this particular product example contains 4 times the strength of the "single size/single strength" product.

Dear Rockstar,

I am writing to inform you that your "70% Juice/100% Energy" beverage appears to be 70% too big for the supplied three spacial dimensions of our universe. This may be a safety hazard, and I am worried about the possible detrimental affects on my houseplants and future children. Please find a bigger reality for your product. Also, could you please send me a new stomach lining to replace the one that your product vaporized? I take men's size 4 or 4½ stomach linings.

Grant V Laine, Concerned Citizen.

Oooh, can someone make me a pie-chart of the advertised contents of Rockstar Juiced Guava Energy Drink? I wonder if that will melt Microsoft Excel.

Speaking of pie chart:
That is all. For accounting purposes I am going to consider this all to be one thing.

1 comment:

bdoepker said...

To update my "Hierarchy of Graphs Based on Funniness":
#1 should actually be "Pie charts made of actual pie"